So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Randomize
