So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
