I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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