conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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