I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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