So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
