Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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