At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
