those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
