i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
