Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
