North Korea, Best Korea!
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
