i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
