i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
