Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
