He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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