the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
