I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
