alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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