Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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