So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
