We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
