Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
