I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
