What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
