Don't EVER smell your tampon
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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