If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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