I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
