Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
