i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Randomize
