Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
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