he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Randomize
