What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
