Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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