great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Randomize
