the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
