look no pants
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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