he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
