he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
