Will you blow on my dice?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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