why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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