I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
you traded sex for a burrito?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
