You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
