Rock
Scissors
Fuck
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
You left your phone here
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