You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
