whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
