Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
