I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
