And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize