My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
So much Jack, so little girl.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
